Dear Mater: How will I know my child will find their vocation?

Ask the mothers who have gone before you.

Dear Mater,

How will I know my child will find their vocation? Is this something I should worry about? Is this the point of college?

Signed,
Longing for Holiness

Dear Longing,

First of all, as with everything, we trust in God. Pray for your child and their vocation every day.

Secondly, you, as your child's parent, are with them all the time and know their strengths and weaknesses. You will help guide them, and love and support them. You are the one building their virtues and healthy habits.

Here's an example. One of our children wanted to be a baseball player. We entered him in Little League and supported him in all his baseball endeavors. One day, when he was in high school, we knew he wasn't good enough to be a professional baseball player, so we told him he should look at another line of work. Another example: all our boys actively discerned the priesthood. We supported them in their discernment, but most got married.

We must remember as parents that it's not what we want them to be or do. We cannot be prideful in that regard. It's what God wants them to be.

No, it's not college's purpose to find your child's vocation, though the purpose of college may help them find it. The Catholic view of college is to form the whole person: mind, body, and soul. That's why it's important to choose a college that will do that. College may help in this way: if your child chooses a career path, let's say to be a doctor, and they fail biology, maybe your child needs to rethink their career. Just because your child doesn't find their spouse in college, does that mean they shouldn't get married? Hopefully, throughout your child's college career, they are becoming well formed as a whole person, body, mind, and soul, and have acquired interests, hobbies, and a spiritual life that help them to be a well-rounded person, and a more complete person to give to their spouse.

Warmly,
Mater

Dear Mater is a Catholic homeschooling advice column for the questions that keep mothers wondering. With wisdom, warmth, and a little humor, ‘Mater' offers perspective on the everyday joys and challenges of forming a family at home. Join ‘Mater’ Diane Aquila, wife to Dominic, mother of 13 (11 on earth), as she answers those questions and gently reminds us of the joy and gift of the vocation to home educate. Diane homeschooled all of her children until college (though a few attended school here and there as life demanded). She may not be a professional but loves to share her insight as a Catholic parent and home educating mother of many. 

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